Don’t Be Afraid

That’s what a priest told me this past Friday.

“Don’t be afraid.”

He was a kindly, elderly Cistercian priest, an American who usually does daily mass at the University of Dallas’ Church of the Incarnation.  I’m Catholic, and there are certain times in my life (not often, but often enough, I think), where I feel the yearning to take the Sacrament of Reconciliation, when I feel not only cut off from God’s creation and His creatures but God Himself.

Grace — when I yearn for God’s grace.  “I need to talk to God,” I said, and the Hubby brought me to UD.  And as he sat outside, in the sunshine (pretty rare these rainy rainy days), playing his cedar flute, sending forth his music as a form of prayer, I stood in line, waiting for my turn.  I was the last one, and, sitting face to face with this kindly old man, I, contrite, made my confession, and he smiled at me and said,

“Don’t be afraid.”

I am reminded of the Bene Gesserit Litany against fear:

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Nice sentiment, but it’s rather lonely just being the only one remaining.  And it’s in feeling like being the only one which is why I yearned for God’s grace, God’s blessing.

We were not made to be alone.  In community with others, in shared charity and mercy, in reserving judgement only to the Prime and Ultimate Judge, can we truly be not afraid. 

The Hubby quotes Matt. 7:1-2.

I think of Matt. 22:36-40.

I hope.

A friend once asked me, “Where is your God?”  Another friend once exhorted me, “Hope.”

The two are interrelated.  Faith, hope, and charity, as I learned them to be the theological virtues, once upon a simpler time in my life.

One day at a time.

Be not afraid.

One day at a time.


About lizardqueen

If single-mothering were a paid job, I'd be rich. However, it doesn't, so I write (which doesn't pay the bills) and teach (which does). I'm overly-educated in the liberal arts, but that doesn't hinder my ability to be pragmatic and realistic. YAY.
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