Brave New World

Just a quick entry, to say that I’m alive.

I’m alive.

Many things have happened in the world of The Lizard Queen from the previous entry that have made things like teaching and grading look like so much ash.  The Hubby and I have been talking about Real Things.  And like all Real Things, they make the life-as-usual-and-routine-and-habit seem unreal and inconsequential and lifeless.

Why is it that we really feel alive, really feel the blood in our veins, the bones under our flesh, the heart in our chest, only when it feels like our life as we know it has crashed down upon our heads?  Why do we need our lives crashing down upon our heads to become a clarion call to the Real Things that have been on the periphery of our lives but should’ve been front and center all along?

My world has turned upside down, and a brave new world has opened before me and those I love, and I don’t know where I am anymore, in this raw, ripped landscape.

Another poem, from me again, written a while back…

XII

Screams cut through the sound of drowning.

Screams of unfrozen people — who knew it would be like this?  Life flows back into their bodies.  To them it is like electrically charged water, flowing everywhere, unbound, limitless, shocking in convulsive waves of

Pain pain pain

Screams cut through the sound of convulsive drowning.

My God, my God, what have I done?  I pull back, helpless, an enemy — I do not mean to be the enemy.  This fire in me,  fire, fire, fire — I am burning

I hurt everyone around me, for I am burning

Pull back pull back pull back

Crush it out crush it out crush it out

The fire, back into the dark coal where you came from, throw up the walls of ice.

They were not happy when they were in ice, but their ice death was better than this fiery life — still drowning

Oh, the screams, they’re from them

They’re from me.

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About lizardqueen

If single-mothering were a paid job, I'd be rich. However, it doesn't, so I write (which doesn't pay the bills) and teach (which does). I'm overly-educated in the liberal arts, but that doesn't hinder my ability to be pragmatic and realistic. YAY.
This entry was posted in Creative Writing, The Writing Life. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Brave New World

  1. lizardqueen says:

    A: thank you… waited for J to get home tonight, so perhaps another time…

  2. Anna says:

    If you need to talk, I am home tonight.

  3. SD says:

    Hugs. Love you.

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