Being Adopted

The Lizard Queen and her hubby are looking to start a family but, well, the road to kid-dom seems to be filled with potholes, unmarked signs, and sheer drops. So adoption (if family by childbirth doesn’t happen) is a viable option, but it’s an option that fills me with, well, mixed feelings. It’s because I’m an adopted kid myself, and there’s lots of messed up stuff that can happen if the adopted parents and their adopted kid aren’t 100% clear in the unconditional love in that relationship.

Whatever you do, tell your kid as soon as your kid can talk and understand you — hell, no, as soon as your kid is in your arms — tell your kid that he or she is adopted. Don’t do what my parents did and tell her of the adoption when the kid is 10 years old and has always thought she came out of Mommy’s tummy and *then* say not to tell anybody outside of the immediate family, as if it were some big secret.

It’s hard enough for an adopted kid to understand why their birthparents gave them up in the first place and *not* take it personally. If you love your adopted kids, tell them of their adoption — it’s part of who they are and why you love them.


About lizardqueen

If single-mothering were a paid job, I'd be rich. However, it doesn't, so I write (which doesn't pay the bills) and teach (which does). I'm overly-educated in the liberal arts, but that doesn't hinder my ability to be pragmatic and realistic. YAY.
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