Shooty Shooty Bang Bang

Violent Femmes quote: “Don’t shoot shoot shoot that thing at me!”

That’s right, folks — the Lizard Queen went to the gun range this weekend! Not for any real reason except, well, I’ve been wanting to for awhile, but for one thing or another I never got around to learning how to shoot a gun. It’s one of those “things I really ought to know as a human being” — you know, like that Heinlein quote from the chapter “Excerpts from the Notebooks of Lazarus Long” from the novel _Time Enough for Love_:

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, con a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyse a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”

I can’t fight efficiently — that’s probably one of the reasons why I’m taking savate and, as of this past Saturday, learning how to shoot a gun, in this case a 380 automatic because the Lizard Queen is a small woman with small hands and delicate small woman wrists. My previous experience in regards to guns have been as a spectator — some of my friends hit the gun range, and my dad, as part of his Navy training and not wanting to get rusty, used to as well. For one reason or another, I relegated my interests and experience to “scholar and scribe” as opposed to “fighter” — but, well, see Heinlein quote above. I guess it’s just taking me awhile to work on it. Speaking of which…

1) Change a diaper —- yes.
2) Plan an invasion —- no.
3) Butcher a hog —- yes.
4) Con a ship —- no.
5) Design a building —- no.
6) Write a sonnet —- yes.
7) Balance accounts —- yes.
8) Build a wall —- no.
9) Set a bone —- no.
10) Comfort the dying —- yes.
11) Take orders —- yes.
12) Give orders —- yes.
13) Cooperate —- yes.
14) Act alone —- yes.
15) Solve equations —- yes.
16) Analyze a new problem —- yes.
17) Pitch manure —- yes.
18) Program a computer —- no.
19) Cook a tasty meal —- yes.
20) Fight efficiently —- no.
21) Die gallantly —- no.

Not bad.


About lizardqueen

If single-mothering were a paid job, I'd be rich. However, it doesn't, so I write (which doesn't pay the bills) and teach (which does). I'm overly-educated in the liberal arts, but that doesn't hinder my ability to be pragmatic and realistic. YAY.
This entry was posted in AVOCATIONS, Martial Arts/Fitness & Exercise. Bookmark the permalink.

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